The question may seem absurd. How can you choose to be unhappy? After all, we all want to be happy, but sometimes we shift the responsibility for our happiness onto circumstances, other people, fate, or problems.
If you've noticed yourself thinking:
This means you're caught in the trap of believing that joy and self-confidence depend on external factors.
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This puts you in a vulnerable position, as the outside world is beyond your control, and your mood becomes hostage to external circumstances.
Happy is not the one who has the best of everything, but the one who makes the best of everything they have.
Confucius
Such beliefs imply that you need to be provided with everything you desire and protected from all troubles, or else your life will become unbearable, and you'll never be able to be happy.
They are based on the mistaken belief that happiness depends solely on external factors and the absence of problems.
Holding onto such beliefs makes you vulnerable to dissatisfaction and despair when life doesn't meet your high expectations.
True happiness doesn't depend only on material wealth or a carefree life. It comes from our ability to adapt, find joy in small things, and show resilience in the face of adversity.
Satisfaction with life is about 50% dependent on personal characteristics. Some people are always dissatisfied.
Satisfaction with life is only 10-15% dependent on external circumstances and 35-40% on our decisions and choices. Therefore, the most important task for a person is to learn how to be happy.
Modern psychological research shows that the source of happiness lies not so much in external factors, but within us. High expectations can negatively affect our happiness.
People with high expectations often strive for perfection and constantly feel the pressure to meet high standards.
While high expectations can motivate us to achieve goals, if they become excessive and unrealistic, they can lead to stress, anxiety, and unhappiness. Constant expectations of more than what we have cause disappointment and a negative perception of life.
If you are not grateful for what you already have, it will seem like you would be happier with much more.
Roy Bennett
The paradox of happiness: fewer expectations — more joy.
Studies show that the less we expect from life and pursue perfection, the more likely we are to be happy. This can be explained by several factors:
It's important to honestly ask yourself: do you see yourself as the master of your life or as a victim of circumstances? Do you control the events in your life, or do they happen without your involvement?
Think about the following differences:
The master of their life takes responsibility for their actions and understands that they create each experience.
Life is made up of choices, and everything we have or don't have is the result of our own decisions.
The master thinks from the "I" position: I am ready, I did, I plan, I want, I can, I decided (they choose the direction of their life themselves).
The victim takes the completely opposite position. Such a person believes that everything happens to them against their will.
Common expressions of the victim: "I have to", "I'm forced to", "I must", "it happened", "it's because of them" (they act under the influence of circumstances or other people).
Unfortunately, society benefits from raising victims, who are easier to manipulate. That's why many people get used to being victims, receiving education and upbringing according to classic models.
But there's good news: being a victim is just a habit of thinking, an irrational belief that can be changed.
Real-life examples show that changing our perception of the world can lead to positive changes in life and increase satisfaction.
Our attitude to events, the ability to accept ourselves, manage emotions, and reflect on our values play a key role in creating happiness.
The realization that our happiness largely depends on ourselves gives us a powerful tool to enhance well-being.
Changing the inner world and perception can be the key to a happier and more fulfilling life, even in difficult and challenging circumstances.
