You might wonder: should we just force ourselves to always think positively? That is, to close our eyes to real problems, isolate ourselves from the world with a sanctimonious fence, and whisper to ourselves: "everything is good, everything is excellent"?
Nothing of the sort!
CBT has as much to do with positive thinking as a computer mouse does with a field mouse.
Now let's go into more detail: these two concepts share a common thought—our perception affects our emotions and our life, actually, that's where the similarities end.
The main idea of positive thinking is to think positively, the main idea of CBT is to think rationally, adaptively.
Feel the difference?
Positive thinking is based on the ability not to succumb to despair and to see the good in any life situation, truly believing that everything is for the best.
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Cognitive-behavioral therapy focuses on correcting cognitive distortions (unproductive thoughts and beliefs) and, consequently, on changing behavior.
If the differences still seem unclear to you, let's clarify: positive thinking suggests we look for the good in any life circumstances. This is undoubtedly a useful skill, but not when it becomes a rigid style of thinking.
After all, there are many unpleasant and even bad things in the world, right? And in our lives, there are also pains, sadness, failures, and disappointments. Well, where would we be without these?
Thus, by replacing all negative with positive, we eliminate reality from the equation. It turns out, this is more of a disservice.
Positive thinking allows us to do everything wrong, thinking that we are doing it right.
Steven Friesen
Let's give an example:
Suppose something unpleasant has happened in your life. It could be anything: job loss, illness, a difficult breakup.
In the context of positive thinking, you would have to replace your negative thoughts with positive, optimistic ones, conditionally on: "Don't think about the bad, everything will definitely be fine!"
But in the context of CBT, you would first need to track your negative thoughts, check them against reality, consider evidence and refutations to these thoughts, and only after that replace them with more rational and adaptive ones.
For example, on: In reality, I cannot say for sure that everything will be fine, but I also cannot claim that everything will be bad. In this situation, there are at least three possible outcomes: the worst, the best, and the most realistic. I can think about what I will do in each of them, be prepared for the worst and hope for the best.
The difference in approach is noticeable, right?
The ability to consider negative thoughts in the context of three possible outcomes is a very effective technique. We will devote the entire next chapter to it!
By viewing events from different sides, refusing dichotomous evaluations of ourselves and what is happening, and changing our thinking to be more rational rather than merely positive, we can more easily cope with emotions and problems.
