Hidden Filters of the Mind: How Intermediate Beliefs Shape Our World

Now, let’s go a little deeper—moving from the branches to the trunk of our metaphorical tree.

The trunk symbolizes “intermediate beliefs.”

They are often called “rules” because they are the internal assumptions and filters through which we view ourselves, others, and the world.

Here are a few examples of such beliefs:

If I always please others, then they will love me.

I need to be strong; otherwise, I’ll lose people’s respect and stop being important to them.

If I make a mistake, it means I’m a total failure.

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Notice how these beliefs often sound like conditions. That’s why it’s helpful to frame them using the word “if.”

Let’s see how intermediate beliefs are connected to automatic thoughts.

Automatic thought: She didn’t reply to my message, so I must have done something wrong.

Intermediate belief: If I always please others, then they will love me.

Automatic thought: I feel terrible, but if I see a doctor, I’ll look weak.

Intermediate belief: I need to be strong; otherwise, I’ll lose people’s respect and they’ll stop valuing me.

Automatic thought: I’m late for an important meeting; now everyone will see I’m a failure.

Intermediate belief: If I make a mistake, it means I’m a total failure.

An automatic thought is an instant reaction. Behind it, there is usually a rule we live by—our intermediate belief.

Most of our assumptions are formed in childhood, while we are still learning to understand ourselves and the world.

Many of us have heard typical phrases like:

Men don’t cry.

If you don’t eat your porridge, you won’t grow up.

An adult living with the assumption that “men don’t cry” may not allow themselves to express emotions. This suppressed experience can turn into anger or lead to depression.

Similarly, rigid rules about food can become a precursor to eating disorders.

That’s why it’s important to be mindful of the beliefs we pass on to children, and to notice the beliefs we carry within ourselves.

Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your destiny.

Mahatma Gandhi

In therapy, we learn to recognize our intermediate beliefs and check whether they are helpful or unhelpful.

We will return to working with these beliefs many times. Next, we will go even deeper—to the most fundamental level where it all begins.